No Shave November 2010 (It's about to get real)

DAY -1

Hello! Hi! Yes, you! Look at this. It's my face and it's freshly shaven. Zip, zip! Mach some number!

Yes, yes, I realize it is nearly pointless to post a photo of my face at this juncture, as it pretty much always looks like this. BUT YOU GOTTA START FRESH. SO THERE IT IS.

You know, I recall years ago, standing in Wal-Mart in our small town of Black River Falls, Wisconsin, with my mother looking at the razors and shaving cream. It must have been one of my first attempts to decide I would shave what was on my face. Friends, it wasn't much. And OF COURSE, someone I knew saw us looking at the razors and he gave a knowing chuckle. "Oh! I remember what that was like, six and a half years ago when I started growing MY first beard! But! I actually had a reason to shave! Something grew!"

Well, he didn't say that exactly. But a lot can be contained in a chuckle. The sad thing about that knowing chuckle is this: Here I am, twenty-three years old, and I STILL can't grow a full beard. Or a partial beard. HOWEVER I STILL THINK THIS YEAR WILL BE A GOOD ONE. My last shave was probably two weeks ago and I saw hair of color and hair of no color but the encouraging thing is that it was all over the place. I mean, it was all up on myself. I'm just looking forward to awesomeness.

SPEAKING OF AWESOME THINGS. This year, this month (that is, November, although it still is October as I write this) I am doing something called NaNoWriMo. Click on that funky looking word that suggests "Anime Convention." It's not that, I promise. At the end of all of my No Shave November posts I will be leaving a NaNoWriMo word count to keep you updated and myself accountable. What fun! HERE'S A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR YOU, A TASTY LOOK INTO THE FUTURE. My book will be about a guy named Oat Bleatty. Hilarious, right? Right!

NaNoWriMo Word Count: 0

IT'S OKAY. I CAN'T ACTUALLY START UNTIL NOVEMBER, SO, MIDNIGHT TECHNICALLY.

Day 8

Hey. Guess what? It's time for an update. I've been growing my facial hair for eight days now and my confidence grows further and further each year as the same thing seems to keep happening: about halfway through No Shave November, I'm where I was the year before. And I can tell that I am well on my way to that same trend!

But as of now I'm only eight days in. I'm trying out a new hairstyle that'll look great with a mustache. What do you think?

Soon to be accompanied by a mustache.

MORE TO COME.


NaNoWriMo Word Count: 11,633. After tonight it'll be about 13,300.

Day 20 (or so)
Well. I've been lazy.

Today is actually Thanksgiving for us Americans. I don't need to rant very much about this holiday...just focus on having a lovely day with your family! And food! Or something! There's a lot of gross too, but what can we do?

Oh yeah. Celebrate.

'Merica.

Back to the blog. Why am I late on the update? I've been embracing the idea of not shaving so much that I've been busy doing lazy and manly things instead of writing updates! I don't know if I approve of this or not. Either way, I assure you, once again this year is already better than it was last year at the end of the year. Heck.

I don't even have to dye my mustache black for people to see it this year.

Pictures from sometime about a week ago:

Progress.

Seriously now. Look at that. Awesome.

So anyway, I'm legitimately not looking forward to growing this out for the rest of the month. Because I'll have to shave it off. First off, that'll be sad. Second off, it'll ruin my razors. I'll probably have to go through like three of them to even beat this beard into stubble free submission.

Oh, the rigors of being a man.

Stately.

The ... uh... lighting ...makes it look like I don't have much.

Alright! There you have it. My awesome face, my awesome facial hair. I'll make two more updates: one on one of the final days and the other on the last day of November!

NaNoWriMo Word Count: 40,021

Day 27 or something
You guys. I'm the worst. Let me be honest. It's not day 27 something. Right now, it's 5 days after No Shave November has ended. I did, however, take pictures on day 27 or something. I just never followed through with the blog update. Right now, as I type this, I stroke a bare chin and lick a slick upper lip.

Actually, my chin and my upper lip are rather sandpapery. How about that? This means that yes, I did shave. And. The final product was insane. Insane. You have no idea. Really

I actually had photographs taken of my beard. Like. By someone else. Not my Macbook, not with Photobooth. These photos are still being developed, and let me tell you something. You can't wait. You can't! I know it! I see you there, squirming in anticipation, wanting to see my beard. Well. I hope these hold you off for now:

Are you down with this sickness? Ooh wa-wa-ah-ah!

Pictured is the spot where my beard doesn't grow so well.

NO SHAVE NOVEMBER (Can't stop- won't stop) 2009

Nov 16-

Every year for three years now I have been doing the same awesome thing: not shaving for November. You can find my previous blogs here on the dying thread of social connection we all still hang on to- stuff in our pockets and take out to play with once in a while when Facebook gets boring.

Poor Myspace.

So why am I posting my blog here instead of Facebook which I really prefer and I'm sure we all use a lot more? Because I like the blogging format here a little more. That's it.

So how's it going? The month thus far? This is my first entry and it is November 16th. Pretty late considering No Shave November should probably start Oct. 31st or Nov. 1st. I started maybe Oct. 26th or something.

I have been busy.

With this.

I'm sitting in Montana- 3/5ths of us with Grizzly beards already. One is right next to me. One mightier than mine is directly across this round table from me. He's ashamed of it..but it has color. Mine does too. On about twenty two countable strands.

I didn't actually count them.
I think starting the blog now is actually an okay thing- a picture of my face cleanly shaven isn't very important and it's pretty much what it always looks like.

So here's from the 14th



I DO have something growing..it's the lighting that drowns it out
Impressed? I am. No, really. Here's a closer view from today.



This is where I was at the end of of the month last year



Seriously. End of November last year.
And looking at last years blog and even the year before has really shown me how much I've changed (physically- I actually look like I'm older than 20 now instead of 16 or something) and now I'm better at using proper capitalization and punctuation. But one thing has not changed- I am still hilarious. At least to myself. If you haven't read my last two year's blogs.. Do so.

2008 2007

Anyway- back to this year. It's going to be epic. Epic? YEAH! JUST YOU WAIT. The end of November this year is going to be heavily embarrassing and I can't wait. I do have some awesome plans that I will not share right now. All I can say is you're excited.

Nov 26-

So, here we are- nearing the end of another fabulous No Shave November. Today for me was Thanksgiving and everyone in my family commented on how the hairs on my face were countable. Yes- countable.

countable |ˈkountəbəl|
adjective
able to be counted.

Exhibit a1

Carnage

Exhibit a2

Stache'

Exhibit a3

Countable.

Hear that muthalickas?! ABLE TO BE COUNTED. The only problem, as shown in exhibit a1, a2 and a3 is that one may spend a rather onerous chunk of their life counting each and every little hair on my lip and chin, and, fellow shavers and no shavers, it's not even the end of the month.

I know, I know, what more could happen in just a few days? Well. Let me tell you.

Everything.

I would like to point out that this year there is a number of colored hairs that has never before been seen in any No Shave November by ANY participator..that happened to be looking at my face in November. Are you excited for the end of the month? To see what unfolds? Grows? I am. Stay tuned, folks.
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Nov 27-
Something very strange happened with my face today... I .. I don't even know what to say. I will post my last update at the end of the month.

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Dec 5th-
Alright, it's the dawn of the night here in LA- actually a few blocks away from Compton. Let's just go ahead and say that I'm IN Compton. Really.


He feels me.

So, even though this is coming late I will say that I DID take my final No Shave November pictures before the end of the month- in fact, on Black Friday. I've just been super busy hanging out with pelicans and longboarding into the moribund sunset over the Phantasmagorical Pacific Ocean.


Seriously.

There was a scientific projection of what my face may look like at the end of this month- done by a scientist. Here it is.


Not so far off

So remember my entry on the 27th? If you don't you should probably take a trip to the brain doctor because it's RIGHT UP THERE. A quick flick of the scrolling wheel. Whatever. So what happened that fateful Black Friday? Let me show you...


Even I was surprised. A slight disgusted and moreover elated.
Ho.Ly. Stache.

Everyone. Look at this.

I GOT COLOR!

Yeah, I know, strange and all that it's black since I'm naturally blonde but there are some wonders of the world that even scientists cannot explain. One of those is my face. Number eight. The color just..shot into the hairs on my lip and chin sometime during Black Friday. Curious, I know, seeing as the hair on my face is black. Perhaps there is a connection to be made in the day.



Was I excited to shave? I know everyone in Hyland was because we keep getting the cops called on us because whenever I drive the van around I look like a mega prowler, what with my stache' and all being black like this, and of course driving a big van with a big trailer that's labeled "Children I Have Captured". The cops always say the label on the trailer comes second as to the reasons they have pulled me over..number one being my shifty looks. Yeah, I suppose I'll have to shave this off..which is just sad. Sad, my friends. But there is always next year!

BONUS ROUND
I had a little photoshoot








Goes well with a beanie

I'd make a mean British P.I.

Or an indie art school kid

Or a homeless street performer

THE END.

No Shave November (Year two, month long blog) 2008

ENTRY ONE: November 1st
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Uh huh. It's true. I'm doing it again. If you haven't already read it, go back to my blogs and read last years no shave November blog. It was a good experience, so I'm participating in growvember again. Except I shaved on the 30th, not the 31st. We (Hyland) had this show in Montana. It was cool. Anyway, I missed a few hairs on my soul patch area but they'll blend right in with my beard..here it comes!

Proof that I am clean shaven, and I'm not giving myself a head start.

I know it's weird to see my face all bare like this. But no need to worry, it'll be all bear like normal soon.

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ENTRY TWO: November 18th
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Okay, it's been about a half of one month now. That's a lot of quality time with me and my beard. I bet you all want to see it, right? Well..here's a closeup of some madness currently taking over my face like teenagers at a mall on a Saturday. Excuse me whilst I shudder in remembering my gruesome days at Caribou in the Rosedale Mall.

Drink of choice by teens and pre-teens alike. Don't forget the whip cream!


Okay so photobooth doesn't have the best quality in photos. But you can clearly see the awesomeness on my face. Note the darkness on my upper lip? It's from being a man and working all day. Blowing leaves and whatnot. After I showered it disappeared, but as many know, showering washes color from facial hair. Well, I'm quite excited for what the end of the month brings. I know I was quite surprised with last years results! This year is sure to be better, since I'm older and much more mature. You can tell by the way I act.

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ENTRY THREE: November 24th
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Well. Something very...strange..is happening..I am not sure if this no shave november is going as planned..

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ENTRY FOUR: December 2nd
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Alright. December has crept up upon us all which means a few things..one..SANTA IS COMING!! yessss!!! And I guess there's some new thing going around about Christmas where some dude named Jesus has his birthday..or something..I donno..i guess some people care about that but I don't get it. Presents are so much better!


OMGPRESENTS!

Two: No Shave November has sadly come to an end. It was very good for me. I got a lot of compliments on my face (as usual) but this time it was for the hairs growing from it. I recall one day where the guys in the band were all like..so you're shaving that right? And I was like ..so what you're really trying to say is you can see it!!

It was exactly what they were trying to say. I showed up to a photoshoot a few days before December officially began and Steve goes ..you know, I really thought you'd shave it. Well sorry Steve, I guess our promos will just have to have super hi-res photos of my awesomehotbeard. As I said before, this year was much better than last. Here is a photo of what it ended up like. I was roaming around looking for some breakfast on the 30th and my roommate Joel snapped this picture of me and my beard:


I was really craving honey and children this specific morning

So December 1st shows up and I decide it's time to shave. I was pretty sure my hair growing got a littttttle bit out of hand. So I started shaving around 12:45pm on the first and literally JUST got done cleaning my face up of the hair. Here's a picture of the progress as I was almost done shaving the hair off:


I still had some left on my chin and upper lip, as well as the rest of my face which is harder to see with the photobooth quality photos

And after I ran out of razors (I went through like fifty..which is costly..) I took a picture of my clean hairless face. Well I missed a spot under my nose, but here's what it looks like, back to "normal"


psh. What's normal about getting rid of the hair God grants your face? Society these days..

Well I would just like to leave you all with one final thought and statement. You are all hatin' on me and my hairless face, which is fine because the real reason behind the hate was made clear to me by my pastor back home around Thanksgiving*. He said, in all of his years of wisdom, that God only gave a few people a perfect face. The rest he covered in hair. This is sensical because many women don't have hair on their face and women are beautiful. Ugly ones get mustaches. Some men, few and the most fair of all, do not need hair to cover up their face. Well, now you know why I can't really

*Editors note: Thanksgiving is this awesome holiday about how some proper looking pirates came to America, woo'd the natives into having a big old party with lots of food and then killed them for not having a horn of plenty (or a cornucopia) on the table at the feast. This was not proper at all. There should ALWAYS be one of these on a table at a feast! Best of all, the pirates got to keep the land. So we celebrate this party every year with food and many people in the world celebrate the killing thing year round. It's not my style but some people sure seem to like it. Most people just watch it on TV. grow facial hair...but that doesn't mean I won't keep trying! See you next year.

No Shave November (a month long blog) 2007

Hey guys, I decided that this year I am going to participate in No Shave November.

This blog will be updated whenever I feel nessecary..showing the progress of my amazing beard to come.

ENTRY 1:

Alright, it's the end of November 5th, and so far my face is showing strong signs of hair, mainly above the eyebrow line, but i'm still pulling for more on the upper lip area and the chin region, as well as the sideburn plains. Here are some up to date photos of the madness..

Theres my face, and you can see the planned spots of future sights of hair.

And here is me feeling the starts of something massive.

Well, all I can say for sure is i'm glad that I don't have a girlfriend for one reason...i'd feel way too sorry for her right about now. What girl would allow the grizzly madness that is about to unfold on my face? Probably none. This will be a beard to the likes of none ever seen before!

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ENRTY 2:

Cool...My chest hair is coming in pretty strong..

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ENTRY 3:

THERE IT IS PEOPLE! freakin nuts, i know. thats all of november. Impressed?! I am. A few nights ago i had an all night beard-off with a guy from What Is Truth. The singer. He was all...no shave november and that's all you got?! I could grow a much for fierce beard!!! So he was tryin' to dunk all over my jamz and I was like alright man, you, me, beard off. Tonight. So guess who got pwn'd at the end of the night? MR. TALK! All bark no bite, yo. He was like..but..but.. I just shaved today! And I said oh! I'm sorry you didn't choose to embrace your manhood mr. circumstance!

Well there's still a week or so left in no shave november and I will ride this out until my beards big enough to cook pancakes!

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FINAL ENTRY

well well well..looks like the month of november has recently come to a close! My beard really pulled through and i'm kind of pleased with it, it's my first real attempt at a beard and here's what came out of it!

hey all of you naysayers! looks like you can all go join the dumb club because i have a beard and it's awesome.

But there is a new development! Gillette has contacted me to help them test a new razor that they have been developing for quite some time. The blades are made of Iridium, one of the strongest metals on this planet. Wiki link here. To cut back on the cost of the metal they decided on a balsa wood handle and i took one look at the prototype and was like guys..the force of my beard against this strong metal will surely snap the balsa wood in two. So they came back with a stainless steel version for the handle and when i tried to shave my beard my sheer strength plus beard plus iridium bent the stainless steel. They are currently making a razor (which is three blades with a lotion strip on top, by the way) with an iridium handle as well. This should cut the mighty beard down to size. They estimate that a shave this good should keep my beard at bay for another month or two, but we'll see..this one came out fiercely!

I would like to say this was a good experience and a great way for a guy to embrace his manhood. I'm gonna miss my grizzly ole' beard but i'm sure it'll be back!